As our boats move away to winter storage, my thoughts are moving to another time in our life pre-boats.
Our oldest son, Bryan, bought a fishing boat. It was the year 2000, he told me today when I asked about this picture. He remembered because it was before Clara, his first child, who was born in 2002.
He came to show us, pulling into our driveway.
His father had an opinion. It was too soon to splurge on a boat!
Now, Bryan was in his mid-20’s, out of high school, and college, recently married, with a full time job (both he and his spouse). They were buying a little house in midtown Omaha, and re-paying school loans. It almost made sense that this was not the right time.
However, fishing is a passion he inherited from his Grandpa Leny (my dad) and Thelen uncles.
Dan did not understand. He just didn’t grow up fishing. He enjoyed other recreational activities.
They had words, as fathers and sons do, but a father’s wisdom is no match for a fisherman’s zeal.
At one point, Bryan said, (half joking?), “Fine! Then I won’t give you a ride in it!”
That’s about the time I wanted a picture, and asked him to hop up into the boat. I was proud of him asserting his independence (as I am of all our children).
In a way, he was living out our family motto, “Don’t be a Scaredy Cat”.
Years later, Dan and I thought it appropriate to name our speedboat after it. It’s a gentle reminder to take it easy in the wild lake traffic. One family member (the only one to take an official course in driving a boat) ignores that-she likes to go FAST!
If you laughed at our motto, you might laugh harder at this photo, (taken by Amy Farha Neary): grandkids acting out with dismay at the marina’s misspelled paint job (it was re-done), or faking the role of true scaredy cats.
An update to this story: Amy told me that after she graduated from Pharmacy school, she told Bryan to get a different car. He was driving his dad’s old red Honda. Instead, he came back with this boat that could only be pulled by Amy’s car!
It’s been more than 10 years since this episode in our lives. I’ve been thinking about another little story from that time that I can not write about now because I don’t have all of the facts. While looking for that story, I found this one.
I feel that time’s poignancy often, as both Mom and Marty have passed away (Mom in March, 2014 and Marty in Oct, 2014).
Here’s what I wrote on 3-29-2014:
I woke up this morning thinking about our last days with Mom, in our family home in Carroll, IA.
Specifically, I was thinking about my brother, Marty, reading out loud to her from a children’s book. He had randomly picked it up from a stack of books in his basement. It was about a mouse family in a garden setting, which made us adult children laugh.
He held her hand, and caressed it sofly while he read. It was so comforting to us to walk by and see him and hear him doing that. It was also nice to go in and sit in a folding chair by him for a few minutes while he read.
My younger brother Marty was going through his own cancer treatments. He knew this was serious. However, he always had a way of lifting us up with humor and lighthearted topics.
Then, I was doing dishes and singing softly to myself “Who’s the one who tied your shoes when you were young and knew just when to come and see what you had done? Mama, oh Mama.”
Christmas Eve, 1987. Dad (Leny) having fun, helping Dan cook. 55th St. house, Omaha.
Making an Italian sausage/chunky vegetables (onion, tomato, red pepper, mushroom) spaghetti sauce sounded fun and delicious. Add a side of steamed fresh green beans and it would be perfect!
I cleaned and trimmed all veggies and got out the steamer to cook the green beans first. Dan does not like them crisp! I must give them plenty of cooking time. I like them all ways-raw to mushy canned.
Dan offers to help, especially after he sees that I’ve put in only half the meat.
“Didn’t you get 2 kinds of meat?” he asks.
“Yes”, I say, “but with all of these veggies I didn’t think we needed it. What do you think?”
“Well, I like a meaty sauce.” So, I add the lean ground beef.
Then, I want to add the mushrooms, and maybe chunks of fresh garlic. Dan says that’s OK; he can pick them out.
Instead, I decide to do a separate saute of mushrooms and garlic in olive oil on a back burner.
The water is boiling. I put the spaghetti in and set the timer for 9 minutes, because Dan is watching me and that’s what he likes to do. I usually boil it for 2 minutes, shut off the heat, and put a lid on it to finish cooking in the reserved heat.
A recent photo of Dan cooking.
Anyhow, Dan has taken over the sauce. He puts in one small jar of Ragu original and one can of diced tomatoes. Perfect. The meats are browned and drained, vegetable chunks are smallish, so they’ll cook well enough in with the meats.
Then, I notice the green beans are not steaming! It’s plugged in, but not switched to “On”. I complain a lot, and then just decide to fast boil them on the stove. Cooking with gas is fast.
It’s time to drain the pasta. I’m looking for hot pads; Dan has them. He tries to get them to me, and loses his sauce filled cooking spoon which splashes on the countertop, cupboard and floor. He cleans that up.
I’ve warmed 2 of our blue stoneware plates (“Arrowstone”, wedding gift, 1972) on the upper stove shelf, which is designed for this (I thought), with the red warming light shining on them.
Too hot!
Now, do we put the pasta in the sauce (as Dan likes), or keep pasta separate, and cover with sauce on plate, (as I like)? Plus, I basically have a different sauce in mind for me, so it has to be separate.
I say, “Put half of your sauce in with my sauted mushrooms and garlic. Then, let me take some plain cooked spaghetti. I’ll put that on my plate, and cover it with my sauce. You can pour your sauce over the rest of the pasta and mix it in.”
The only problem is, I have my stoneware plate filled with my yummy version, tender green beans on the side, and I feel a crack in the plate! I have to transfer it to another plate and it all gets mixed up anyhow.
Dan gets his heated stoneware plate and feels a crack in it also! Did the red heating light cause this? Or, have they been cracked all along? We use them often.
Placeholder plates, labeled, so I can still look at a nice tall stack of plates. 1972 Arrowstone dinnerware, on our open kitchen shelves (cracked plates on the bottom, on top of the platter).
Finally, we take our dinner to the couch because we want to eat there, maybe watch Netflix. But, we have to sign in again; the Internet connection is lost. This is all too much bother. Our food will get cold. So we find something fun and mindless, like “Fixer Upper”, and enjoy our home cooked meal.
Note: This story is from my files, first scribbled out on January 12, 2017. Hard to believe it’s been 7 years! The cooking and compromising continues. I now let Dan cook it completely his way. If he wants to shop for the ingredients, and wants to cook, he’s on!
Another “Cooking with Dan” scene, making “Ugly Dip”, a favorite creation, 2015.
The other day, my daughter-in-law passed on to me a prayer that her grandpa had just sent to her. It was the Prayer of St. Francis that begins with “Make me a channel of your peace.”
I immediately started singing it in my head. This whole prayer was put to music in 1967 by a South African songwriter, Sebastian Temple. We sang it at high school masses, and it was part of our wedding music in 1972.
My favorite version.
I thanked her, and said that it would be my daily prayer reflection. It got me to thinking about faith, family and Sundays. This near 80 year old California grandpa had sent it to a 41 year old Denver mom, who sent it on to me, a 71 year old Omahan.
In this mix, is a 20 year old daughter, a college sophomore who posts weekly from her church in Colorado a simple, joyous greeting, like “May the Lord be with you and keep you in His perfect peace today.”
This elicits uplifting responses from all ages. One, an 80 year old Phoenix relative regularly answers something like “Have a peaceful week”. It’s nice to see that connection.
Growing up, Sundays were about many things: rest, church, cinnamon rolls, and the comics, which we called the funny papers.
“Funny Papers”, studio art quilt, Shirley Neary, 2000. Hand dyed and inkjet printed cottons, reverse appliqued. 38”by 29”.
When we were very young and lived on a farm by Breda, Iowa, going to church resulted in a reward for us kids. I told that story in the following art piece:
A stitched St. Bernard’s Church, from a photo I took. Candy images printed on cotton. Machine quilted.
Mom would make cinnamon rolls on Sundays. Now, we were living in Carroll, which meant we could walk to church. The older kids, (of which I was one, being the oldest), were allowed to sleep in, and go to late mass. When we got back, there was a warm breakfast of an egg and cinnamon roll.
In Mom’s handwriting. This is it, nothing on the back.I guess every homemaker in Iowa knew the rest of the instructions.
In 1977, when The Commodores came out with Lionel Ritchie’s song, “Easy” (like Sunday Morning), I couldn’t relate. Sunday mornings were not about ease and relaxation. They were hectic, and filled with obligation, or guilt.
We had 2 little boys then, and went to mass separately. Later, with 4 children, we all got presentable and went as a family. It was frantic. Somebody always had a paper route, with an adult helping. Often, we were responsible for Donut Sunday (at St. Margaret Mary’s), which was fun to do, going downtown to Petit’s Pastry shop to pick up the order.
That presentable issue created challenges. Could the boys wear a tee shirt? Yes, maybe, but without slogans. A collared shirt was better. Were jeans acceptable? They were not, in the 1970’s and 80’s. There were definite rumblings among the parish members about these choices, almost like gossip.
The best we could do; we were a casual family. Conor had just fallen moments before, so he’s still hurting from that.
In Mom and Dad’s time, of farm life and big families, they dressed up for church. My Aunt Jan tells me this story: “We would throw everything down the stairs on Saturday to prepare for Sunday mass, such as ironing the boys’ shirts and polishing the shoes. Near the finishing of that chore, Lenus would exchange his shoes for Dad’s. Then, Mom would say we missed polishing Daddy’s shoes.” He was a trickster!
Polished shoes photo, found online. Lenus, my dad, was 3rd oldest of 11 children.
One time, Mom and Dad were visiting us in Omaha from Carroll. On Saturday afternoon, we went to the Steamboat Bertrand exhibit at DeSoto Bend. The Bertrand sank on April 1, 1865, when it struck a submerged log in the DeSoto Bend of the Missouri River. The items recovered are what’s on display.
It was a very hot summer’s day. All of us were in shorts.
On the way home, Dad suggested going to the 5PM Saturday mass, fulfilling our Sunday obligation. He said it would be nice to wake up on Sunday morning and relax. I protested that we weren’t at all dressed for church.
We went and sat in a somewhat hidden side row, with me a little embarrassed, but happy to have an “Easy Like Sunday Morning” ahead of us.
If you would like to share any comments or photos from your Sunday mornings, please do!
The Marina at Village West had boats, jetskis, paddleboards and Maui Mats for rent. Enjoying it here are cousins from our group. Photo by Heidi Johnson.
When our niece, Wendy, titled her farewell e-mail, “An Okoboji Goodbye”, I thought it was so poetic. We had missed her family’s departure from the Neary Clan 2023 Reunion, where 130 people arrived and departed at all hours. It was a 10 day get-together at Village West Resort in NW Iowa’s glacial lake region, specifically at West Lake Okoboji.
Happy Wendy, Carlos and some of their family, Village West Convention Hall, June 25, 2023.
Wendy and Carlos. There’s a lot to tell about them, (too much for this blog post). They have always wowed us! It was really astonishing to have them attend from AZ, along with 5 of their 6 boys, and 1 daughter-in-law. You see, an illness has invaded their lives for more than a year. It is near miraculous that the afflicted person is still with us, here on earth, partying and talking and dancing. A true reward of intense faith and spiritual practices.
Every person who came was celebrated. Those who could not were remembered and thought about often. This is where the Neary reunion was held almost 40 years ago, in 1984. It (and we) looked a lot different then. Attendees this year remarked on how fabulous it was to have their 10 year old kids experience this place that they remember so fondly as a 10 year old.
Matriarch Betty Neary, with her 12 children, 1984, at what was then called Vacation Village.Great pic of the cabins (now gone) and Peg with Kendra, 1984.
For this reunion, people stayed in timeshare buildings, where the owners had given up their week. It was all co-ordinated by Marne, at the resort, and our daughter-in-law, Amy. A super feat of organization.
Oh what a week it was! Highlights and special memories for me were :
Taking 5 year old Liam down the steps to the dock, where he hadn’t been for a year, and having him say, “I remember the spider webs.” Funny! I thought he’d say the water, the fish, the swimming. Spiderwebs are everywhere near the lake. Gus got a “face plant” as he entered the fishing boat early one morning, and Jess had to do a “limbo” move to get under a horizontal web over the steps.
Some of the everyday spiderwebs.The broom we use constantly to clear out webs.
Meals were catered in for most nights, as the resort’s restaurant has not re-opened since 2020. Wednesday night was Texas BBQ. We received an appreciative note from one of the kids, which I passed on to Back Alley Texas BBQ.
David lives in Massachusetts.Connecting! That’s what it’s all about.
Standing in line for dinner one evening, I found myself behind a teen from AZ. I asked him if he went out at night to see the stars. He said, “Yes! We went into the cornfield, chasing the fireflies.” It was the first time he had seen them, in person! Before, he had only seen them in cartoons, ha ha. Note: we call them lightening bugs in the midwest.
No fireflies in this photo of family enjoying an Iowa corn field, near Village West. I’m tempted to draw them in! Photo by Amanda Stoft, June 2023.
Seeing the young kids and adults enjoy the music of @DJNateT (our nephew on my side of the family, a Thelen). So much splendid dancing!!!
Heavenly. I now think of “Shout” as a Gospel tune.
Having a Catholic priest friend attend for special blessings. We need them.
Meeting a young reader from Oklahoma. We became instant friends on Goodreads.
Spilling the tea, the coffee, the wine, the beer, the water, and wiping it all up with old beach towels. Everyone helped. Speaking of clean up time, it was fun to see this crew dancing through the job!
Brandon, Bryan and Dan, serving Brats and Bob’s Dogs (sloppy joes over a hot dog) to Tammy and Charlotte. Dan bought this roaster pan especially for this.
Conor, Gus and Sam.
Trash. No industrial composting site is available in the area, and we couldn’t send it all back with Leigh (she composts everything-for herself and her customers-through@hillsidesolutions). We tried not to have too much waste, using a set of metal eatingware for some of the utensils, and steel cups, which were all put in the dishwasher at home each night. For plates, we used disposable ones made from palm leaves (said to decompose in 2 months). Forks were made from birch trees. Bryan said that using these was like eating with chopsticks, ha! He is so funny.
In our quest for non-plastic, we found these online. Made from palm leaves and birch trees.Steel cups from @exist_green in Omaha. Planning chart by Shirley.
Mistaking Jason for the Hy-Vee breakfast delivery guy, saying, “Just put it over there”. He looked at me quizzically, and said, “No, I’m Jason, your nephew”. Ha ha. Oh well, it was early, and he did have a hat on, somewhat hiding his identity. Still, how embarrassing.
Solving the online NYTimes Sunday Crossword with Leigh and her husband, Brandon, on the dock, and getting an answer from a boat filled with Nearys passing by. “Try HOWDY DO” Jane yelled in answer to the clue “Old time country greeting”. It fit!
An Okoboji trip is not complete without a stop at Arnold’s Park for rides and amusements.
Leigh, being a kid again.
Kids loved the arcade at the resort, earning these tickets for prizes.
Bring quarters.
On another day, we had an impromptu Lemonade Stand at the end of our dock, calling over the pontoon carrying our relatives. Actually, Amy zipped out on the speed boat to make sure they heard our invitation. Conor quickly made and served 2 pitchers of freshly sqeezed lemonade.
Peg and Jean hosted an ice cream social, with the works-a good idea! They bought so many toppings and so much ice cream that it went on for 2 nights.
Jean even made a batch of hot fudge sauce in the crock pot, which went fast.
From the oldest to the youngest, we bonded.
Here I am (not quite the oldest) with the youngest attendee. Photo by Shannon Meyer.
So, to paraphrase the Irish writer, James Joyce, they came “and laughed and loved and left”, leaving us with shadows of their heartwarming presence.
And, leftovers, in our freezer and pantry still. And, many, many photos, YAY!
Enjoy your family. Here’s a photo of some of ours:
By The Des Moines Photo Booth Co., (owned and operated by another nephew, this one married to a Thelen), set up the same night as our DJ.
Pelicans at Sunset, Honduras. Photo by Brandon Fenster.
Did I tell you that our daughter was married last week? This momentuous event took place at the end of an “L” shaped dock, decorated with palm fronds and conch shells. The dock jutted out into the waters of a Caribbean Bay island off the northern coast of Honduras.
August 28, 2022
It was only the 2nd wedding in that location.
In many ways, it was a traditional wedding, with solemn vows spoken (amidst wide smiles), presided over by her brother, Conor. Her father walked her down the “aisle”, and nicely dressed guests were in attendance. The atmosphere was heavenly with warmth, and soft winds (and no insects).
An instrumental duo (violinist and guitarist) played Sade’s “By Your Side”. The inspiration for this choice was something Leigh discovered online, and had listened to “about a thousand times”, dreaming of it for her wedding. Her inspiration is a string quartet cover by Cattus Quartet, well worth a listen to. It will uplift your day!
No one had a cell phone up to their face to take pictures, (by strict proclamation from the bride) letting the professional photographer do his job. She wanted all of us to be in the moment, right there.
Photo by Brandon Neary, before the ceremony. In the background, you can see the cabana that was our dwelling place for the week, (half of it, shared with Lou and Anne, each half still private).
This outdoor wedding took place at 4:30 PM, as the sun was making its hazy descent over the mountainous opposite shore.
Leigh wore a hand crocheted, ecru lace, 2 piece ensemble, with an off the shoulder top and a long skirt. She and I both remarked that if we could have designed and made this wedding dress ourselves, it would be like this. The skirt snagged a couple of times on the nails of the wooden dock “aisle”. Her dad gently kept her going forward as the nails tried to pull her back.
I had packed a small sewing kit just in case a repair was needed.
Very useful to have. This little bag was made by my quilting buddy, Teri, and given to me at our retreat one year.
An engagement of three years preceded this wedding. Emotions were high. Tears gave way from their hiding place as the sensitive, tender hearted groom, Brandon, saw Leigh approach. His weren’t the only ones.
Afterwards, in celebration, watermelon mimosas were distributed and enjoyed before the party moved on to a dinner table set up on the small beach, with strings of lights to amplify the setting. We could not have been happier!
Conor, Leigh, her new husband Brandon Fenster, (holding the flowers temporarily), and brother, Brandon.Leigh’s brother, Brandon, Mom (me, Shirley), sister-in-law Amy, and brother, Bryan.The dinner table. Photo by Lou Andersen.
A few more details:
Both Leigh and Brandon have a fondness for Legos, so the cake topper was their original creation. It included their pets (Leigh’s cat, Frost, and Brandon’s bird, Kiwi), plus a ring and a scuba tank on the groom.
Playful topper! Photo by Conor.
About 20 of us were truly on an island, on which there is a resort, Clark’s Cay. To get there, from Roatan, Honduras, required a two hour ferry and a twenty minute boat ride.
The island is small, about 4 acres, and undeveloped in parts which were fun to explore. We especially enjoyed walking around its perimeter, where you could sit awhile on these stone steps.
An enchanting discovery! Photo by Brandon Neary. From here, you can see the barrier that keeps the wild sea away.
The Barrier Reef waters surrounding it are shallow, perfect for seeing marine life, from a puffy yellow starfish to small sharks, (about 3 feet long), to a baby octopus. The Roatan Barrier Reef, part of the MesoAmerican Barrier Reef, is the 2nd largest barrier reef in the world (after Australia’s Great Barrier Reef). Located in the Caribbean Sea, it runs along the coasts of Belize, Honduras, Guatamala and Mexico.
What an education!
Photo by Anne Andersen. A resident on the island found it, and brought it to show us, and then put it back into the water, where it released its dark inky protective liquid.
The land interior was just as fascinating. We were startled when a large iguana hopped out of a tree in front of us, or a coconut fell. Once, I had orange pollen all over my face, unknowingly, because I bent down to smell a tropical flower, a spider lily, I think it was.
An ever so brief encounter with this plant, and I had 3 people telling me about the orange color on my face, and attempting to clean it off, ha ha!
Honduras was chosen because Leigh’s new hubby is a scuba diver and they had visited the area before. They both appreciate its pristine waters.
On this trip, Leigh snorkled and looked eye to eye with a parrotfish, who seemed to smile at her she said.
Smiling underwater friendly fish.Island bounty.
We have more than memories from this occasion. We have a new appreciation of things, people and places we knew nothing about before. Leigh gifted each of us, and the resort, with a book meaningful to her, GIFT FROM THE SEA, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. A passage from it was highlighted, and beautifully read at the wedding by her friend, Tien.
A precious book.
A few more of our personal photos:
Brandon (now in shorts) and Leigh, relaxing after the wedding. Photo by Lou.Leigh and her friend, Carmen (one time California house mate and co-worker). Beautiful!Leigh and her dad, later in the week. The LOVE sculpture was a surprise enhancement, handmade recently, from wood, sanded and painted by Clark’s Cay personnel.Leigh with friends, Tien, Crys, and Carmen. These ladies, along with Tamara, Anne, and Bella played hard all week! The whole group on Sept. 1, a little get away cruise so that surprise birthday decor could be put up for Conor’s 41st, (and my 70th, earlier in the week).Happy Birthday! Photo by Lou.
People were invited to this intimate wedding by a handmade invitation that I had a lot of fun working on with Leigh and Brandon, a year ago. It was inspired by the Wonderword puzzles, that used to be in The Omaha World Herald. Now, I find them online.
The remaining letters, (the Wonderword) revealed the destination!
This post was written especially for family and friends who were not there, and is a record of what I experienced, because of Leigh and Brandon’s plans. There are more photos, of the dives, for instance, that I did not include, and of the wedding that I left out, for brevity.
Hope you’re spending your day doing what you enjoy!
Mom and Dad in Canada, 1984. By then, she had been married to her fisherman for 33 years. She was hooked.
Our mother was quite cheerful as she went about raising her brood, keeping house, and later, a career with Penney’s. A favorite image of mine is seeing her open the dining room windows, 3 in a row, to let the southern breezes in. The way the gauzy curtains ruffled out into the room, reflected Mom’s easy movements throughout the house.
She was a hard worker most days. But once in a while, she’d say ”Today, we’re going bumming.” Then, we’d climb into the blue and white Ford and go some place like her sister Norma’s farmhouse where they could chat and we could play with our cousins. Some days we’d go for a drive around Swan Lake or Lake View to see birds and wildlife.
She did like the lake!
So, every summer of my childhood, we gave her a whole week at Lake Belle Taine, near Park Rapids, MN. Of course, she was not alone on this trip. Dad and all of us kids thought we’d keep her company, just for the fun of it.
The Collaborators, in 1968. My siblings and I in Minnesota. L to R, Shirley, Tony, Karen, Marty, Ed, and Rob, (in front).
It was decided to take her in June. Fishing is best then, and that way we can all wear our favorite winter gear a little longer, in case summer hasn’t quite arrived. She’ll have a great time making sure we have our stocking caps and gloves packed.
We tried to remember her favorite things. We would say something like, ”Oh Mom, you have to pack the dented old cake pan so you can make those fresh brownies you like so well!”
And, ”Oh! You do like to sew, so be sure to stitch up a couple of new shorts outfits for the girls, with that happy, colorful print, or the green striped seersucker you let me choose.”
Such fun!
Once we got there, we treated her to all sorts of adventures.
One time, she heard the heart stopping shriek of ”Tony fell in the lake!”, repeated twice for urgency, just so she wouldn’t miss out. A quick rescue saved the youngest child, and the day.
Another time, on the last day of her vacation, when the car was all packed to go home (sweet home), she heard someone yell, ”Robbie has a hook in his leg!!” Oh how she loved that! She was able to render aid and be a nurse. It just made her feel so good! A quick trip to the hospital for stitches delayed the departure by 2 hours. This made her other sons, Eddie and Marty, happy for 2 more unexpected hours of lake time and glorious fishing!
These vacations for Mom continued into her grandparenthood, when grandchildren in their late teens came along. They would yell new phrases of delight to enliven the party, like Conor screaming “Craig, Craig, where did you go?” at 1AM while the 2 of them were canoing across the bay to the opposite shore. It just about made her heart flip, the actions of this frolicking good time duo. Such high jinks are always remembered and cherished, ha ha.
Sometimes, we would get away from the lake and the fish, and go to Deertown, where she could get up close to the charming animals.
We knew how much she loved the Go-Kart rides in Park Rapids so we took her there often. Then, she’d be so hungry that we had to take her to lunch. Wouldn’t you know it? HER favorite meal (and ours too) was a hamburger, fries, and a malt, at a formica table in a diner.
Oh! What a sweet mom! It was so much fun to treat her!
Next, we said we’d like to take her shopping. There were some nice boutiques and antique stores, but we thought a stop at the toy store would be so much better. It would make her laugh and give her joy. It did! She liked her new beach ball and floating raft very much, and she liked sharing them too, letting us play with them whenever we wanted to.
Kids on the dock. Teenager Shirley, and little sis Karen (in front) with other campers, & a rustic pontoon.
She did get to the antique store. It was attached to the laundromat, so that gave her a little bit of work to do (the laundry) before the fun (of looking at antiques). It fulfilled her by giving her a chance to live her motto, ”First we work, then we play!”
It was a blast giving her all of that laundry to do because we knew how much she relished it. And, it was a diversion from too much beach sitting (wink wink).
Park Rapids laundromat, with antique store attached. Mom and I always laughed at the clothesline with red flannel long johns on the roof.
One time we gave her a gift to open. I have to say, this was quite exciting! It was a new fishing lure, the fantastic plow jockey! Her eyes widened with surprise while opening it. She said ”Wow! My very own plow jockey!” She was so gracious, and said that Dad and the boys must be the first ones to try it out. She even wished them luck as they left the cabin to fish (and got out of her hair) for a few hours.
She probably really enjoyed those few hours to herself. But soon, her loneliness would get her to thinking about us, and then she would bake a cake or plan lunch. Breakfast was on our own, and supper was always a fish fry that Dad planned and executed, so she did not have the PLEASURE of making 3 meals a day. Sigh, poor Mom.
By the way, this lure was, and still is, legendary. It was introduced to us by our Uncle Al in Indiana. He was quite hilarious as he taught us how to use it. According to my brother, Ed, this is how the instruction went, while they were fishing in a boat: “Fish ‘em slow”, he said, ”just cast out,” at which point he took a drag from a cigarette. Then, he resumed, ”Lift the rod up, and reel in slow”. At the time, Ed thought, “What? I’m supposed to start smoking to fish these lures?” Ha!
Kelly’s (the inventor, and brand name) Original Plow Jockey. Invented in Ft. Wayne.
We knew Mom loved this vacation, because she was a little misty eyed as we were leaving and heading back to Iowa. She said it was just the most wonderful trip ever! Then, I’m pretty sure, I heard her say softly, ”Maybe next year we’ll go somewhere that does not involve fishing.”
Oh, Mom!
Enjoy your days and your vacations, wherever they are!
Shirley
Note: This blog post was inspired by our annual vacations—thank you, Dad and Mom— and a very funny short story, ”How We Kept Mother’s Day” by Stephen Leacock. I read it in a used 1962 copy of 30 STORIES TO REMEMBER, selected by Thomas Costain and John Beercroft, Doubleday & Co., Inc.
A few more random pics from Little John’s Resort on Lake Belle Taine, MN:
Brandon, Sunset, Lake Belle Taine 1988.Bryan and Brandon Neary, 1980.Grandpa Leny Thelen, Brandon and Bryan.Brandon’s first fish, June 1980.The Thelens, 1980, and Bryan, Brandon (held by Mom), and Shirley Thelen Neary. Photo by Dan Neary.Shirley, borrowing a fish, for fun, 1968.Shirley, Karen, Dan, 1972.Grandpa Leny Thelen, with Leigh Neary, 1991.The Thelen Family, pretty much the whole gang (including a few derelicts, since reformed:) at Little John’s Resort. The Birches of Minnesota. Photo by Shirley, 1980.Conor Neary and Wes Thelen, 1991.
”Dish by Dish”, 28”W by 29”H, studio art quilt by Shirley, 2001. Cotton, dye, inkjet print, hand and machine stitched.
Traditionally, the most important time for family gatherings in the Neary household is on Christmas Eve, not on Christmas Day. This was begun by Dan’s father, Ray, while Dan was growing up.
In our house, family arrives anytime after noon, and we have a casual lunch buffet, with Dan doing most of the preparation. The menu is this: cheese spread with crackers, meatballs, little smokies in “Tony’s sauce” (secret recipe, ha), deviled eggs, a veggie tray, and shrimp from Absolutely Fresh Seafood. A platter of homemade cookies and fudge is set out also.
Then, we play games, rest a little, and maybe open one gift.
Around 5 or so, we go to a children’s Mass, and come back for a formal dinner. Many grand entrees have been prepared over the years, such as beef tenderloin, lobster, or Duck a l’orange, followed by gift unwrapping. This was somewhat exhausting!
Usually, we had places to go the next day, some that were hours away and out of state (to Iowa), for other family celebrations.
In the past few years, we’ve significantly reduced the elegance and work, by choosing to do only the very wonderful buffet, in mid afternoon. We still light candles, and use nice dishes and linens. Clean up is easier, for sure, and we still celebrate the joy.
Handmade card, from Nancy and Dave.
Here is something I wrote a few years ago, on Dec. 27, 2015, when we served both meals:
As the dishes, pots and pans, cups and glasses and utensils pile up on the counter, I think for one second that this is crazy! More pans on the stovetop, a full dishwasher going through its cleaning cycle, and dessert is yet to be—are there enough clean forks?
The food is creative and delicious, the company divine, in fun and conversation! And help also!
So, when I go to bed at 11:00 on Christmas Eve with cleanup halfway done, I am not looking forward to the rest of the dish duties.
My quick sketch of some of the varying degrees of cleanup.
However, on Christmas morning, I get up so early, and can quietly clean a few items (while others sleep), looking out over the park, and at the Woodmen Tower with its green and red lights.
What I’m remembering is that time when Dan’s sister, Linda, taught me about messy kitchens and cleaning them up. In the mid 1970’s, she came to Omaha to visit, and cooked a Mexican dinner in our tiny Benson apartment kitchen, using every wedding gift and piece of equipment we owned. I was somewhat appalled at the state of our kitchen!
Then, we ate, and enjoyed, and after that, we methodically cleaned up dish by dish, washing, drying, and putting everything away.
From an old calendar.
And then, our kitchen was ready for many more cooking and cleaning up episodes. I hope everyone is enjoying time around a family table often!
This summer, it all began with a trip to the Maritime Museum in Arnold’s Park, Iowa. I saw this arched structure made from rocks. The sign said it was on loan from Clark Museum in Milford, Iowa. It did not say who made it, or when.
The maker’s name is “Anonymous”, as many pieces of folk art are unsigned.A close up detail of the birdbath.
It made me think of my Great Grandpa Goecke who made stone sculptures. The one I specifically remember was a big stone basket in front of Grandma and Grandpa Schelle’s farmhouse. Grandma, Mary Ann (Mamie) Goecke Schelle, was his daughter.
Linda Schelle Johnston has inherited this stone basket, the smaller of the two I remember. It now sits in her yard.
I wondered if he was inspired by the rocky shorelines of Spirit Lake, Iowa’s largest natural lake, where he spent many years, or if it was a popular craft of the time.
Mom (Jean Schelle Thelen) talked often of her Grandpa Goecke’s cottage on Spirit Lake. She gave me a photo from 1981 of her and our 2 older sons, Bryan and Brandon, on a rock bench at that cottage (now with a new owner). She told me that her Grandpa Goecke tied his boat to it.
Brandon, Bryan, and their Grandma, 1981. The rope shows that it’s still being used to tie down a boat.
I LOVE that picture and the idea of an ancestor making the bench. I wanted to see it, but I had no idea where it was located. I guess Mom had never taken me there, that I remember! And now, I couldn’t ask her, because she went on to her heavenly reward in 2014.
So, I asked around. I asked my brother Ed first. He’s a long time resident of Spirit Lake, and Mom and Dad visited him often, renting a cabin each spring and fall (the unbusy times), near him.
No, he had no idea either.
Next, I asked my Kennebeck cousins. They come to The Iowa Great Lakes (Okoboji) every summer for a week of pure fun, and their Mom was my mom’s sister, so she must have talked about it also.
No, they didn’t know where it was!
My Uncle Ron (Mom’s brother) had done a detailed family history for our files. That’s where I found information on William Goecke. He was married and lived in Carroll, Iowa. A few years after his wife died (in 1930), he moved to Spirit Lake (in 1934), and lived there until 1956, when he returned to Carroll. In Spirit Lake, he owned a house in town for the winter, and a lakehouse for the summer.
My Great Grandpa Goecke, at his Spirit Lake cottage. Photo sent to me by Ron Schelle, in June 2019. I love that he named his fishing cottage!
I went to the courthouse with that information, sleuthing my way to the cottage with the stone bench. The helpful workers led me to the basement, through a dark corridor into a large bright room, and left me there.
It was quite fun! Searching through a massive, tabletop sized index of handwritten deed transfers (today, they’re all digital), sorted by year, and alphabetized, I found one address really fast—the one in town.
It was energizing to see his name written here.
The lake cottage was pretty easy too. He bought it in 1941.
Details of the cottage purchase.Lake Cottage, division name.
Then, I went upstairs to the offices to get the actual address, after finding the division name and year of the sale. I got both addresses, and the current owners’ names. The lake cottage has an Omaha owner, and I knew the name!
After contacting my Omaha friend, I learned that her husband’s brother had purchased the property 3 years ago. They weren’t staying there until the weekend, and encouraged me to go have a looksee, although they couldn’t recall a bench.
I went the next day, very excited and hopeful. My imagination saw it along the shore, and I thought we could maybe take a new family photo there, with grandkids and myself, to hang on the wall, alongside the other.
Great Grandpa Goecke’s cottage, 12885 253rd Ave. My own photo, June 2019.
Well, it had been 38 years since the stone bench photo was taken. I really thought it would be there, but it was not. A sea wall, several feet wide has been built, taking over the original shoreline.
So disappointing.
However, I’ll always appreciate hand crafted stone sculptures, and think of my Great Grandpa Goecke, who gave me joy long ago, when I gazed at the basket on my Grandparent Schelle’s farmhouse steps, near Breda, Iowa.
Just for fun, here are a few stone photos from my walks, along West Lake Okoboji.
Icy rocks, West Okoboji shoreline, Nov. 2017.
I hope you enjoyed this little story, and can go sit on a favorite bench somewhere in your world!
Liam, crying because he can’t have a lit sparkler (or because the party’s over).
“The pop is gone.” says the last teenager to leave.
The ice is low.
The granola is gone.
This pretty jar (from TJMaxx) stored the granola.Our favorite granola. No raisins were added, just fresh fruit at breakfast time.
Two pans of Dan’s frozen Green Chili Chicken Enchiladas are gone.
Bryan’s extra tender dry rubbed ribs are gone.
One half cup of Ranch Beans, not to be thrown away, is stashed somewhere in the fridge behind too many leftovers to count.
The fresh strawberries, raspberries and blueberries are gone.
The decorated cookies, brownies and bars are gone.
Festive cookies from Amy.
The visiting people are gone.
Some of the fun people.
The recyclables, clean and sorted, are now gone, all picked up curbside.
Sorted, without plastic bags!
Even the pelicans are gone.
Earlier:
The pelicans are the first to arrive for their party on the lake, flying and gliding gracefully for a smooth landing as they join their group.
One of many.
Then Dan and Shirley get to the empty lakehouse and prepare for family arrivals.
5 more people come as Conor and Jess and family get settled for 10 days.
One day later, 4 more as Brandon, Jenn and family (with Molly’s hamster, Leny) get to the lake. The party heats up with games, food, and drinks, including a prosecco whose cork blasted out a light fixture, shattering glass, and shocking all!
Three days later, 5 more show up as the Omaha Nearys get here, wheeling in their gigantic cooler of food. Abundance is now!
One Omaha Neary stays back, sacrificing for business reasons, tending to her newly opened store, “Exist Green”. All have been there with similar decisions and understand, still missing her greatly!
Then, 4 more family members come on July 4th for the fish fry and fireworks.
Highlights from that day:
Clara, 17, leaves (with a carload of siblings and cousins who want a ride) to get cleaned walleye from Wes’s house to add to the dinner, which was a success!
One year old Liam plays football with the big kids, carrying the ball like a pro.
The neighbors haul out big box after big box of fireworks to their dock, which begin while it’s still light, startling all of us on the lawn, to stop what we’re doing and look over that way, staring. We observe hot (Amy checked) ashes falling on top of our boat cover. We try not to tell Dan, thinking he’ll go crazy, but surprisingly, when he learns of this, his reaction is “Whatever. We’ll deal with the consequences later.” There is no damage.
The recycle bins have ceased to be organized by category but has things thrown in willy nilly.
The cocktails and mocktails need a new flavor, so a rare and sneaky venture to a neighbor’s mint patch ensues. The surly neighbor is gone, but it is well known to all that we MUST stay off their property.
The cell phone is lost for a day as there is too much noise to find it.
The door slams often, with people going in and out (who don’t know how to use it, despite a few lessons). Ha!
Shirley says to more than one person, “We’ve lost all sense of normalcy around here.”
Riley enjoys a calm moment at sundown, July 4, 2019.
About 10 PM, Gus makes popcorn, surrounded by adoring younger relatives, and a couple of older ones, (his parents).
Not a single burnt kernel!
The mosquitos arrive chasing all but the most hardy inside, where lights are turned off so as to see the fireworks.
We forget to turn them back on, even as we’re tripping over piles of sandals and saying good-bye to the departers, until Conor says “Can we turn on a light? I’m not sure who I’m hugging.” We all laugh and turn on lights.
Some of the sandals we tripped over, at one end of the house.
Soon, the day, and days are gone.
Paintings by Riley, Molly, Jess, Clara, & Tatum. Paint and canvases, supplied by Jess.
On Writing, On Life 