As our boats move away to winter storage, my thoughts are moving to another time in our life pre-boats.
Our oldest son, Bryan, bought a fishing boat. It was the year 2000, he told me today when I asked about this picture. He remembered because it was before Clara, his first child, who was born in 2002.
He came to show us, pulling into our driveway.
His father had an opinion. It was too soon to splurge on a boat!
Now, Bryan was in his mid-20’s, out of high school, and college, recently married, with a full time job (both he and his spouse). They were buying a little house in midtown Omaha, and re-paying school loans. It almost made sense that this was not the right time.
However, fishing is a passion he inherited from his Grandpa Leny (my dad) and Thelen uncles.
Dan did not understand. He just didn’t grow up fishing. He enjoyed other recreational activities.
They had words, as fathers and sons do, but a father’s wisdom is no match for a fisherman’s zeal.
At one point, Bryan said, (half joking?), “Fine! Then I won’t give you a ride in it!”
That’s about the time I wanted a picture, and asked him to hop up into the boat. I was proud of him asserting his independence (as I am of all our children).
In a way, he was living out our family motto, “Don’t be a Scaredy Cat”.
Years later, Dan and I thought it appropriate to name our speedboat after it. It’s a gentle reminder to take it easy in the wild lake traffic. One family member (the only one to take an official course in driving a boat) ignores that-she likes to go FAST!
If you laughed at our motto, you might laugh harder at this photo, (taken by Amy Farha Neary): grandkids acting out with dismay at the marina’s misspelled paint job (it was re-done), or faking the role of true scaredy cats.
An update to this story: Amy told me that after she graduated from Pharmacy school, she told Bryan to get a different car. He was driving his dad’s old red Honda. Instead, he came back with this boat that could only be pulled by Amy’s car!
The Marina at Village West had boats, jetskis, paddleboards and Maui Mats for rent. Enjoying it here are cousins from our group. Photo by Heidi Johnson.
When our niece, Wendy, titled her farewell e-mail, “An Okoboji Goodbye”, I thought it was so poetic. We had missed her family’s departure from the Neary Clan 2023 Reunion, where 130 people arrived and departed at all hours. It was a 10 day get-together at Village West Resort in NW Iowa’s glacial lake region, specifically at West Lake Okoboji.
Happy Wendy, Carlos and some of their family, Village West Convention Hall, June 25, 2023.
Wendy and Carlos. There’s a lot to tell about them, (too much for this blog post). They have always wowed us! It was really astonishing to have them attend from AZ, along with 5 of their 6 boys, and 1 daughter-in-law. You see, an illness has invaded their lives for more than a year. It is near miraculous that the afflicted person is still with us, here on earth, partying and talking and dancing. A true reward of intense faith and spiritual practices.
Every person who came was celebrated. Those who could not were remembered and thought about often. This is where the Neary reunion was held almost 40 years ago, in 1984. It (and we) looked a lot different then. Attendees this year remarked on how fabulous it was to have their 10 year old kids experience this place that they remember so fondly as a 10 year old.
Matriarch Betty Neary, with her 12 children, 1984, at what was then called Vacation Village.Great pic of the cabins (now gone) and Peg with Kendra, 1984.
For this reunion, people stayed in timeshare buildings, where the owners had given up their week. It was all co-ordinated by Marne, at the resort, and our daughter-in-law, Amy. A super feat of organization.
Oh what a week it was! Highlights and special memories for me were :
Taking 5 year old Liam down the steps to the dock, where he hadn’t been for a year, and having him say, “I remember the spider webs.” Funny! I thought he’d say the water, the fish, the swimming. Spiderwebs are everywhere near the lake. Gus got a “face plant” as he entered the fishing boat early one morning, and Jess had to do a “limbo” move to get under a horizontal web over the steps.
Some of the everyday spiderwebs.The broom we use constantly to clear out webs.
Meals were catered in for most nights, as the resort’s restaurant has not re-opened since 2020. Wednesday night was Texas BBQ. We received an appreciative note from one of the kids, which I passed on to Back Alley Texas BBQ.
David lives in Massachusetts.Connecting! That’s what it’s all about.
Standing in line for dinner one evening, I found myself behind a teen from AZ. I asked him if he went out at night to see the stars. He said, “Yes! We went into the cornfield, chasing the fireflies.” It was the first time he had seen them, in person! Before, he had only seen them in cartoons, ha ha. Note: we call them lightening bugs in the midwest.
No fireflies in this photo of family enjoying an Iowa corn field, near Village West. I’m tempted to draw them in! Photo by Amanda Stoft, June 2023.
Seeing the young kids and adults enjoy the music of @DJNateT (our nephew on my side of the family, a Thelen). So much splendid dancing!!!
Heavenly. I now think of “Shout” as a Gospel tune.
Having a Catholic priest friend attend for special blessings. We need them.
Meeting a young reader from Oklahoma. We became instant friends on Goodreads.
Spilling the tea, the coffee, the wine, the beer, the water, and wiping it all up with old beach towels. Everyone helped. Speaking of clean up time, it was fun to see this crew dancing through the job!
Brandon, Bryan and Dan, serving Brats and Bob’s Dogs (sloppy joes over a hot dog) to Tammy and Charlotte. Dan bought this roaster pan especially for this.
Conor, Gus and Sam.
Trash. No industrial composting site is available in the area, and we couldn’t send it all back with Leigh (she composts everything-for herself and her customers-through@hillsidesolutions). We tried not to have too much waste, using a set of metal eatingware for some of the utensils, and steel cups, which were all put in the dishwasher at home each night. For plates, we used disposable ones made from palm leaves (said to decompose in 2 months). Forks were made from birch trees. Bryan said that using these was like eating with chopsticks, ha! He is so funny.
In our quest for non-plastic, we found these online. Made from palm leaves and birch trees.Steel cups from @exist_green in Omaha. Planning chart by Shirley.
Mistaking Jason for the Hy-Vee breakfast delivery guy, saying, “Just put it over there”. He looked at me quizzically, and said, “No, I’m Jason, your nephew”. Ha ha. Oh well, it was early, and he did have a hat on, somewhat hiding his identity. Still, how embarrassing.
Solving the online NYTimes Sunday Crossword with Leigh and her husband, Brandon, on the dock, and getting an answer from a boat filled with Nearys passing by. “Try HOWDY DO” Jane yelled in answer to the clue “Old time country greeting”. It fit!
An Okoboji trip is not complete without a stop at Arnold’s Park for rides and amusements.
Leigh, being a kid again.
Kids loved the arcade at the resort, earning these tickets for prizes.
Bring quarters.
On another day, we had an impromptu Lemonade Stand at the end of our dock, calling over the pontoon carrying our relatives. Actually, Amy zipped out on the speed boat to make sure they heard our invitation. Conor quickly made and served 2 pitchers of freshly sqeezed lemonade.
Peg and Jean hosted an ice cream social, with the works-a good idea! They bought so many toppings and so much ice cream that it went on for 2 nights.
Jean even made a batch of hot fudge sauce in the crock pot, which went fast.
From the oldest to the youngest, we bonded.
Here I am (not quite the oldest) with the youngest attendee. Photo by Shannon Meyer.
So, to paraphrase the Irish writer, James Joyce, they came “and laughed and loved and left”, leaving us with shadows of their heartwarming presence.
And, leftovers, in our freezer and pantry still. And, many, many photos, YAY!
Enjoy your family. Here’s a photo of some of ours:
By The Des Moines Photo Booth Co., (owned and operated by another nephew, this one married to a Thelen), set up the same night as our DJ.
Mom and Dad in Canada, 1984. By then, she had been married to her fisherman for 33 years. She was hooked.
Our mother was quite cheerful as she went about raising her brood, keeping house, and later, a career with Penney’s. A favorite image of mine is seeing her open the dining room windows, 3 in a row, to let the southern breezes in. The way the gauzy curtains ruffled out into the room, reflected Mom’s easy movements throughout the house.
She was a hard worker most days. But once in a while, she’d say ”Today, we’re going bumming.” Then, we’d climb into the blue and white Ford and go some place like her sister Norma’s farmhouse where they could chat and we could play with our cousins. Some days we’d go for a drive around Swan Lake or Lake View to see birds and wildlife.
She did like the lake!
So, every summer of my childhood, we gave her a whole week at Lake Belle Taine, near Park Rapids, MN. Of course, she was not alone on this trip. Dad and all of us kids thought we’d keep her company, just for the fun of it.
The Collaborators, in 1968. My siblings and I in Minnesota. L to R, Shirley, Tony, Karen, Marty, Ed, and Rob, (in front).
It was decided to take her in June. Fishing is best then, and that way we can all wear our favorite winter gear a little longer, in case summer hasn’t quite arrived. She’ll have a great time making sure we have our stocking caps and gloves packed.
We tried to remember her favorite things. We would say something like, ”Oh Mom, you have to pack the dented old cake pan so you can make those fresh brownies you like so well!”
And, ”Oh! You do like to sew, so be sure to stitch up a couple of new shorts outfits for the girls, with that happy, colorful print, or the green striped seersucker you let me choose.”
Such fun!
Once we got there, we treated her to all sorts of adventures.
One time, she heard the heart stopping shriek of ”Tony fell in the lake!”, repeated twice for urgency, just so she wouldn’t miss out. A quick rescue saved the youngest child, and the day.
Another time, on the last day of her vacation, when the car was all packed to go home (sweet home), she heard someone yell, ”Robbie has a hook in his leg!!” Oh how she loved that! She was able to render aid and be a nurse. It just made her feel so good! A quick trip to the hospital for stitches delayed the departure by 2 hours. This made her other sons, Eddie and Marty, happy for 2 more unexpected hours of lake time and glorious fishing!
These vacations for Mom continued into her grandparenthood, when grandchildren in their late teens came along. They would yell new phrases of delight to enliven the party, like Conor screaming “Craig, Craig, where did you go?” at 1AM while the 2 of them were canoing across the bay to the opposite shore. It just about made her heart flip, the actions of this frolicking good time duo. Such high jinks are always remembered and cherished, ha ha.
Sometimes, we would get away from the lake and the fish, and go to Deertown, where she could get up close to the charming animals.
We knew how much she loved the Go-Kart rides in Park Rapids so we took her there often. Then, she’d be so hungry that we had to take her to lunch. Wouldn’t you know it? HER favorite meal (and ours too) was a hamburger, fries, and a malt, at a formica table in a diner.
Oh! What a sweet mom! It was so much fun to treat her!
Next, we said we’d like to take her shopping. There were some nice boutiques and antique stores, but we thought a stop at the toy store would be so much better. It would make her laugh and give her joy. It did! She liked her new beach ball and floating raft very much, and she liked sharing them too, letting us play with them whenever we wanted to.
Kids on the dock. Teenager Shirley, and little sis Karen (in front) with other campers, & a rustic pontoon.
She did get to the antique store. It was attached to the laundromat, so that gave her a little bit of work to do (the laundry) before the fun (of looking at antiques). It fulfilled her by giving her a chance to live her motto, ”First we work, then we play!”
It was a blast giving her all of that laundry to do because we knew how much she relished it. And, it was a diversion from too much beach sitting (wink wink).
Park Rapids laundromat, with antique store attached. Mom and I always laughed at the clothesline with red flannel long johns on the roof.
One time we gave her a gift to open. I have to say, this was quite exciting! It was a new fishing lure, the fantastic plow jockey! Her eyes widened with surprise while opening it. She said ”Wow! My very own plow jockey!” She was so gracious, and said that Dad and the boys must be the first ones to try it out. She even wished them luck as they left the cabin to fish (and got out of her hair) for a few hours.
She probably really enjoyed those few hours to herself. But soon, her loneliness would get her to thinking about us, and then she would bake a cake or plan lunch. Breakfast was on our own, and supper was always a fish fry that Dad planned and executed, so she did not have the PLEASURE of making 3 meals a day. Sigh, poor Mom.
By the way, this lure was, and still is, legendary. It was introduced to us by our Uncle Al in Indiana. He was quite hilarious as he taught us how to use it. According to my brother, Ed, this is how the instruction went, while they were fishing in a boat: “Fish ‘em slow”, he said, ”just cast out,” at which point he took a drag from a cigarette. Then, he resumed, ”Lift the rod up, and reel in slow”. At the time, Ed thought, “What? I’m supposed to start smoking to fish these lures?” Ha!
Kelly’s (the inventor, and brand name) Original Plow Jockey. Invented in Ft. Wayne.
We knew Mom loved this vacation, because she was a little misty eyed as we were leaving and heading back to Iowa. She said it was just the most wonderful trip ever! Then, I’m pretty sure, I heard her say softly, ”Maybe next year we’ll go somewhere that does not involve fishing.”
Oh, Mom!
Enjoy your days and your vacations, wherever they are!
Shirley
Note: This blog post was inspired by our annual vacations—thank you, Dad and Mom— and a very funny short story, ”How We Kept Mother’s Day” by Stephen Leacock. I read it in a used 1962 copy of 30 STORIES TO REMEMBER, selected by Thomas Costain and John Beercroft, Doubleday & Co., Inc.
A few more random pics from Little John’s Resort on Lake Belle Taine, MN:
Brandon, Sunset, Lake Belle Taine 1988.Bryan and Brandon Neary, 1980.Grandpa Leny Thelen, Brandon and Bryan.Brandon’s first fish, June 1980.The Thelens, 1980, and Bryan, Brandon (held by Mom), and Shirley Thelen Neary. Photo by Dan Neary.Shirley, borrowing a fish, for fun, 1968.Shirley, Karen, Dan, 1972.Grandpa Leny Thelen, with Leigh Neary, 1991.The Thelen Family, pretty much the whole gang (including a few derelicts, since reformed:) at Little John’s Resort. The Birches of Minnesota. Photo by Shirley, 1980.Conor Neary and Wes Thelen, 1991.
I found one sheet of this fabulous drawing paper (Rives?, Arches?) in my supplies from my days at the University of Nebraska Omaha, studying art. The Berol prismacolor pencils and drawing board were there also.
Bare beginnings
This drawing, “Clara in the Boat” was started in August 2018, while I was staying solo at the lakehouse. The composition of putting Clara in the lower part of the page was inspired by a portrait I saw at Joslyn Art Museum, where the figure was placed like this.
A little more color laid down.October 17, 2019
I like this stage of color in the water. The circles are an attempt to show the sun sparkles. My plan is to draw a simple outline of the boat, in black, and add detail to Clara.
October 20, 2019
Water too dark, I think! I left this drawing at the lake, to sit until the next summer, hoping I could lighten it up. Maybe if I did that, the dark spots would show the depth of the water.
May 19, 2020
Finished! That darkness in the water bothered me all winter (in my mind, because it was away from Omaha). I just didn’t like it, and I didn’t know how I was going to fix it.
After erasing a small section with a good art/pencil eraser, I used a tissue to rub off some color. It worked perfectly, taking off the pastel chalk that I had used on top of the colored pencil.
Then, I outlined the boat some more, and added color to the towel, which was an especially fun process!
This summer, it all began with a trip to the Maritime Museum in Arnold’s Park, Iowa. I saw this arched structure made from rocks. The sign said it was on loan from Clark Museum in Milford, Iowa. It did not say who made it, or when.
The maker’s name is “Anonymous”, as many pieces of folk art are unsigned.A close up detail of the birdbath.
It made me think of my Great Grandpa Goecke who made stone sculptures. The one I specifically remember was a big stone basket in front of Grandma and Grandpa Schelle’s farmhouse. Grandma, Mary Ann (Mamie) Goecke Schelle, was his daughter.
Linda Schelle Johnston has inherited this stone basket, the smaller of the two I remember. It now sits in her yard.
I wondered if he was inspired by the rocky shorelines of Spirit Lake, Iowa’s largest natural lake, where he spent many years, or if it was a popular craft of the time.
Mom (Jean Schelle Thelen) talked often of her Grandpa Goecke’s cottage on Spirit Lake. She gave me a photo from 1981 of her and our 2 older sons, Bryan and Brandon, on a rock bench at that cottage (now with a new owner). She told me that her Grandpa Goecke tied his boat to it.
Brandon, Bryan, and their Grandma, 1981. The rope shows that it’s still being used to tie down a boat.
I LOVE that picture and the idea of an ancestor making the bench. I wanted to see it, but I had no idea where it was located. I guess Mom had never taken me there, that I remember! And now, I couldn’t ask her, because she went on to her heavenly reward in 2014.
So, I asked around. I asked my brother Ed first. He’s a long time resident of Spirit Lake, and Mom and Dad visited him often, renting a cabin each spring and fall (the unbusy times), near him.
No, he had no idea either.
Next, I asked my Kennebeck cousins. They come to The Iowa Great Lakes (Okoboji) every summer for a week of pure fun, and their Mom was my mom’s sister, so she must have talked about it also.
No, they didn’t know where it was!
My Uncle Ron (Mom’s brother) had done a detailed family history for our files. That’s where I found information on William Goecke. He was married and lived in Carroll, Iowa. A few years after his wife died (in 1930), he moved to Spirit Lake (in 1934), and lived there until 1956, when he returned to Carroll. In Spirit Lake, he owned a house in town for the winter, and a lakehouse for the summer.
My Great Grandpa Goecke, at his Spirit Lake cottage. Photo sent to me by Ron Schelle, in June 2019. I love that he named his fishing cottage!
I went to the courthouse with that information, sleuthing my way to the cottage with the stone bench. The helpful workers led me to the basement, through a dark corridor into a large bright room, and left me there.
It was quite fun! Searching through a massive, tabletop sized index of handwritten deed transfers (today, they’re all digital), sorted by year, and alphabetized, I found one address really fast—the one in town.
It was energizing to see his name written here.
The lake cottage was pretty easy too. He bought it in 1941.
Details of the cottage purchase.Lake Cottage, division name.
Then, I went upstairs to the offices to get the actual address, after finding the division name and year of the sale. I got both addresses, and the current owners’ names. The lake cottage has an Omaha owner, and I knew the name!
After contacting my Omaha friend, I learned that her husband’s brother had purchased the property 3 years ago. They weren’t staying there until the weekend, and encouraged me to go have a looksee, although they couldn’t recall a bench.
I went the next day, very excited and hopeful. My imagination saw it along the shore, and I thought we could maybe take a new family photo there, with grandkids and myself, to hang on the wall, alongside the other.
Great Grandpa Goecke’s cottage, 12885 253rd Ave. My own photo, June 2019.
Well, it had been 38 years since the stone bench photo was taken. I really thought it would be there, but it was not. A sea wall, several feet wide has been built, taking over the original shoreline.
So disappointing.
However, I’ll always appreciate hand crafted stone sculptures, and think of my Great Grandpa Goecke, who gave me joy long ago, when I gazed at the basket on my Grandparent Schelle’s farmhouse steps, near Breda, Iowa.
Just for fun, here are a few stone photos from my walks, along West Lake Okoboji.
Icy rocks, West Okoboji shoreline, Nov. 2017.
I hope you enjoyed this little story, and can go sit on a favorite bench somewhere in your world!
Liam, crying because he can’t have a lit sparkler (or because the party’s over).
“The pop is gone.” says the last teenager to leave.
The ice is low.
The granola is gone.
This pretty jar (from TJMaxx) stored the granola.Our favorite granola. No raisins were added, just fresh fruit at breakfast time.
Two pans of Dan’s frozen Green Chili Chicken Enchiladas are gone.
Bryan’s extra tender dry rubbed ribs are gone.
One half cup of Ranch Beans, not to be thrown away, is stashed somewhere in the fridge behind too many leftovers to count.
The fresh strawberries, raspberries and blueberries are gone.
The decorated cookies, brownies and bars are gone.
Festive cookies from Amy.
The visiting people are gone.
Some of the fun people.
The recyclables, clean and sorted, are now gone, all picked up curbside.
Sorted, without plastic bags!
Even the pelicans are gone.
Earlier:
The pelicans are the first to arrive for their party on the lake, flying and gliding gracefully for a smooth landing as they join their group.
One of many.
Then Dan and Shirley get to the empty lakehouse and prepare for family arrivals.
5 more people come as Conor and Jess and family get settled for 10 days.
One day later, 4 more as Brandon, Jenn and family (with Molly’s hamster, Leny) get to the lake. The party heats up with games, food, and drinks, including a prosecco whose cork blasted out a light fixture, shattering glass, and shocking all!
Three days later, 5 more show up as the Omaha Nearys get here, wheeling in their gigantic cooler of food. Abundance is now!
One Omaha Neary stays back, sacrificing for business reasons, tending to her newly opened store, “Exist Green”. All have been there with similar decisions and understand, still missing her greatly!
Then, 4 more family members come on July 4th for the fish fry and fireworks.
Highlights from that day:
Clara, 17, leaves (with a carload of siblings and cousins who want a ride) to get cleaned walleye from Wes’s house to add to the dinner, which was a success!
One year old Liam plays football with the big kids, carrying the ball like a pro.
The neighbors haul out big box after big box of fireworks to their dock, which begin while it’s still light, startling all of us on the lawn, to stop what we’re doing and look over that way, staring. We observe hot (Amy checked) ashes falling on top of our boat cover. We try not to tell Dan, thinking he’ll go crazy, but surprisingly, when he learns of this, his reaction is “Whatever. We’ll deal with the consequences later.” There is no damage.
The recycle bins have ceased to be organized by category but has things thrown in willy nilly.
The cocktails and mocktails need a new flavor, so a rare and sneaky venture to a neighbor’s mint patch ensues. The surly neighbor is gone, but it is well known to all that we MUST stay off their property.
The cell phone is lost for a day as there is too much noise to find it.
The door slams often, with people going in and out (who don’t know how to use it, despite a few lessons). Ha!
Shirley says to more than one person, “We’ve lost all sense of normalcy around here.”
Riley enjoys a calm moment at sundown, July 4, 2019.
About 10 PM, Gus makes popcorn, surrounded by adoring younger relatives, and a couple of older ones, (his parents).
Not a single burnt kernel!
The mosquitos arrive chasing all but the most hardy inside, where lights are turned off so as to see the fireworks.
We forget to turn them back on, even as we’re tripping over piles of sandals and saying good-bye to the departers, until Conor says “Can we turn on a light? I’m not sure who I’m hugging.” We all laugh and turn on lights.
Some of the sandals we tripped over, at one end of the house.
Soon, the day, and days are gone.
Paintings by Riley, Molly, Jess, Clara, & Tatum. Paint and canvases, supplied by Jess.
Why would anyone want a bicycle without a kickstand? I’m pretty sure I had one on this first bike, although it’s hard to tell from the way I’m proudly holding it up.
Young kids, in the 7 to 12 year old range, who are racing to their friend’s house, flying off the seat, and throwing the bike to the ground, in their haste to begin playtime, might. In fact, I’ve seen that happen!
When I turned 60, in 2012, I decided to get a bicycle. I had torn out a picture of one I liked from an ad and kept it in a desk drawer for years, like a wish list. We now had a cabin on Lake Okoboji, and I really wanted to be out there riding around the lake and on the trail in the country. It would be a cruiser with foot brakes only, no hand brakes, because that’s the kind I grew up with. It would also have a wicker basket attached to the front handlebars that I would fill with fun stuff.
My wished for bicycle, and some research on where to get it.
I shopped for the bike and a helmet in Omaha and practiced riding around the store parking lot, feeling a little silly, but building confidence before I actually purchsed it. This bike had a kickstand.
Here’s a short story about another 60 year old getting a bike. I wrote it on June 26, 2011:
I’m thinking back to that day when I stopped at my friends’ Liz and Tony’s house. It was Liz’s birthday, her 60th, and she was riding her new bike around the block.
When she came back, Tony and I were sitting under the front yard shade tree, sipping icy orange pop from bottles—delicious! Liz desperately needed some. She was so thirsty after her first bike ride. She hopped off and parked, using the kickstand.
The bike shop had specially installed it for her, saying that few customers want them. This got us to talking about how we (our generation) want, expect, and like kickstands, and discussing why on earth anyone would not want one.
On Writing, On Life 